July 2009
15 posts
Two Girls, One CWD
CWD: Maaan Imraaan...
Me: Wassup bro?
CWD: Man so i'm just in the hallway having a convo when i notice two girls going downstairs to the basement...
(Pause)
CWD: That reminded me...I would LOVE to have two girls at once! (Laughs) Man its a dream come true! What guy wouldn't want that? (Laughs harder)
Latex Gloves
Cool White Dude: (Creeps up to me while i'm pipetting) Maaaan Imraaan...
Me: Wassup?
CWD: See these latex gloves?
Me: Yeah
CWD: Maaan everytime i put them on i feel like a doctor, know what i'm saying? (laughs the most contagious laugh ever)
The Life and Times of a Cool Ass White Dude
I work in the lab with this white dude from dollarway. So he’s kinda hood but always in a good mood lol. He’s says some of the craziest things so these are just a few of the convos we’ve had in the lab…
My iTunes
Anything Kid Cudi
Anything Drake
Lupe Fiasco - We On
Maino - Million Bucks (best song to play after getting PAID!!!)
The Jackson 5 - Never Can Say Goodbye
Trey Songz - D.O.A. (too much!)
Shower playlists?
sleepykisser:
jacatastrophe:
maryamsmiles:
I didn’t realize they were a popular thing. I thought I was the only one. Do you have one?
Yes.
Yes.
Yuuup! I also got a straight money playlist for payday lol!
Slang pt. 2
Mom: Bling bling is dead!
Me: Huh?
Mom: We don't say bling bling anymore, we say ice! i got ice!
Slang
Mom: That burger is off the top!
Me: Mom, that's not how the saying goes...
Mom: What is it then? Off the...
Me: Chain, off the chain.
Mom: That's off the chain. (5 seconds later) This water is off the top!
Me: (shakes head)
“My only friend doesn’t want to hang out with me!”
– Mom (Talking about my dad not going to see the Proposal with her)
The Mini Van Affair
Me: Mom! I got to take the mini van???
Mom: Yes.
Me: Ugh...
Mom: Yup, all those young girls looking at you will think you're a married man. (Laughs!) Which is good for me!
Uh-mer-i-kuh!
Mom: The City of Little Rock thanks you, Imran.
Imran: For what?
Mom: For sweeping up the floor with your pants.
thanks maryam for bloggin my convo! imma hit you! jk buti probably will...
“Some are going to question the timing of this and let me just say that this...”
– Sarah Palin. AKA the ex-governor of Alaska. AKA the most idiotic person I’ve ever seen. (via ssstanger)
The Hangover
Finally got around to seeing this movie yesterday. Too funny! Too funny! But i hope i NEVER have an experience like that ever in my life lol. Too much! HAHA
“Black grad schools will give you affirmative action just because you’re a...”
– Mom
My Twitter! Follow ME! FOLLOW ME! →
June 2009
3 posts
One Less Sister!
(I performed a bunch of Michael Jackson dances for Maryam. I put my heart and soul in the dances and Maryam did not care...AT ALL. Didn't even say thank you!)
Me: Moooooooom! Maryam said she doesn't want to be my sister anymore (She said it really quietly under breath...)
Mom: That's fine. One less sister means one less gift to buy. Saves you money!
One of my FAVORITE MJ songs! Enjoy! Dance to it!
“He wrote on my wall…That’s like facebook second base!”
– Paul Anthony
May 2009
15 posts
Anniversary Convo
Me: How long have you been married to Baba?
Mom: Since 1985...
Me: So that's about 24 years now.
Mom: 24 years! That's too long to be with one person. (Pause) I need to find me another man...
I laughed soooooo hard because it was just the way she said it. Probably the funniest thing my mom has said hands down.
Star Trekkies
(cooking in the kitchen with mom)
Mom: How do you know about star trekkies?
Me: Oh I was corrected at school....I accidentally said "star trekkers"
Mom: Oh well I found out all about them on The View. Whoopi and some guy there are obsessed.
Me: Those people are kinda weird
Mom: I know...Its because they never had friends or couldnt get dates thats why they're like that.
Haha I *heart* my mom
Today
I painted the garage today. That’s It.
Guilty Pleasures...
Songs on my iTunes that make people do a double take. “You know this song, Imran???” Check it out!
Flyleaf - I’m so Sick/ All Around Me (Maaaaan! Me and Joe used to go crazy immitating the chick in the all around me video back at ASMSA lol. Good Times)
Chromeo - Bonafide Lovin
Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek (I hated this song at first, but joe and Kelsey wouldn’t stop...
maryamsmiles:
Drake feat. Lykke Li
I’ve been...
Made My Week
Every once in a while I’ll post things that “Made My Week.” Last week, I was riding with my friend Michelle. We were at a stop light and she started freaking out screaming “I know I got a granola bar or something in here somewhere.” She starts digging through her car visciously lol. I’m sitting there crazy thinking “we just ate, I dont know why...
The Iced Tea Affair
I'm sorry to bite your style yams. I know you got the parentals' quotes and convos on lock on your tumblr, but this was too funny. PRICELESS. So I had to bite your style on this one...sorry...enjoy...
Mom: I made iced tea for MY son!
Baba: What about everyone else? That's not fair!
Mom: It's my surprise for him for when he came home.
Baba: You're late, you should have made it for him the DAY he came back. (PAUSE) It's not even good...(the Baba grin)
What I'm Listening To...
Just a couple songs I’ve been bumpin on my iTunes recently…
Hi Tek - Get ta Steppin (very chill song. been my jam for a loooooong time)
Akon - Beautiful
Drake - Little Bit
Bone Thugs N Harmony - Notorious Thugs
Yung LA - Futuristic Love (too catchy)
FLY - Swagg Surfin (“polo on my body with a zach morris swag…” such a retarded song but extremely catchy…)
Wall-to-Wall with Anum
Me: BETTTTAAAAAH! did u find my cellular device?
Anum: no, sorrry. the only guy i saw that i could ask to go to your room was mason. and also they wouldn't have let him go to that side of the school because he was already checked out
Me: U couldn’t get no rms? dang anum thanx SO much. if it was vice versa i would pulled out my 9 n killed like 6 or 7 security guards. i would spin kicked solliday in the gut n backflip kicked john easly on my way to the elevator. i woulda had a 5 min fist 2 fist combat wit rebecca in the elevator nshe would knocked out like 8 of my teeth but then i would grab her hair n throw her into the door. (we're on 5th pine rite now) i would dust my shirt off n taken the stairs the rest of the way. UH OOH! michelle and trudy. i would spin kick michelle n throw her down the stairs. at the same time block like acabagillion punches from trudy. id trip her real cool like n she'd tumble down the stairs. who's standing outside ur door? naomi, dean currier, and dean nichols...i'd whip out my indiana jones whip n flip the hell outta naomi. i'd spring off her shoulders, summersault, n drop kick dean currier. i'd write him up for having a bald head in the girls dorms n send him to his office...(cont'd from first post so read it first dummie!)...me n dean nichols would have a math-off (desks, paper n pencils would slide in from the other side of the hall) we'd jump into the seats, take the test, n i'd beat her by 1/4 of a point (psat/sat style grading) i'd laff in her face n she'd kick up the desk n chunk it at me. i get knocked to the ground but get up all cool/breakdancer like. id flip over her, slid under her legs, appear in front of her, step to the side and back hand the hell outta her cheek. she'd hit the wall n as she slides down she'd ring the fire alarm. (the sprinklers are goin off) i step in ur room and director hugo stares at me. (5 min stare wit music n cool cam shots etc.) she kicks off her heels n they pin me 2 the wall n begins to write me up for running in the hallway. i pull off the wall and bicycle kick her into ur bed, the sheets conveniently fold over her n she naps. (cold ass music starts playing) i get ur fone and walk out the building all muscley...
Anum: i'm really sorry!!! i kept my eye out for like any guy that could get your phone and the only guy that came with his parents to the conference that i saw was mason. and he had checked out before he and his dad talked to any of his teachers (how do I know this? well, when I came to school mason and his male parental unit were taking his belongings to the vehicle) thus, he was not able to go back to that side of the building or even to fifth floor because he had already checked out. furthermore, the rm's had locked all of the rooms. (how do i know this? well, i went to my floor to retrieve some shoes from my room prior to being informed that we were not allowed to go up past third floor and i could not get in because all the doors were locked) so he would not have been able to get into your room anyway. as far as rms that could get your phone for you, the only rms around were trudy and michelle and they were both in the rlo. there were no guy rms to be seen. cont'd from first post: In conclusion, despite my best efforts, i could not retrieve your phone unless i went up to your room myself (which i would like to point out is illegal and would not work because, again, your room was locked). thank you for your time, and i hope you have a good wireless unitless weekend.
Mr. Chi City MAYNE! →
If you haven’t seen it. YOURE LATE! I dont watch anything on youtube regularly but I had to make an exception for this because it’s so funny. CHI CITY MAYNE! Check it out. Def more funny videos on the related links if you like this one…
Kool Aid Flavors
Me and my friend, Destiny, started mixing Kool Aid flavors after our boring genetics labs. We would mix two packets and come up with dumb names for each new flavor every week. So this is just a list of the dumb flavors we came up with this semester. BAM SON!
Chrawberry:
Cherry
Strawberry
Ultimate Lemonade:
Pink Lemonade
Lemonade
Citrus Sewage:
Orange
Lemon-Lime
Wild Grape:
Wild Berry
...